Fiction Useless Inventions
The Rewinding Bookmark
A silk bookmark that creeps three pages backwards every night, on the grounds that you were not really paying attention the first time.
Fiction — invented for fun
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Useless Inventions
Patent-pending solutions to problems no one has.
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Fiction Useless Inventions
The Findable Keyring
A keyring that beeps, flashes and vibrates so you can locate it, and does all three only while it is already in your hand.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Almost-Done Progress Bar
A polished brass desk object with one glowing bar that has sat at 97 percent since the day it was made, connected to nothing and finishing nothing.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Second-Opinion Mirror
A full-length mirror that waits until you have walked away, then offers a short, studiously non-committal opinion on your outfit.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Sock Apology Drawer
A drawer that mournfully announces which sock it lost, and when, on a tiny display.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Hush-Pop: Silent Bubble Wrap
Finally, a way to enjoy the tactile satisfaction of popping bubble wrap without any of that pesky, joyful noise.
Fiction Useless Inventions
A Kettle That Whistles in Latin
It boils water just fine. It also conjugates verbs.