Fiction Useless Inventions
The Spare Button Archive
A walnut cabinet of forty-eight tiny drawers that files every spare button from every new shirt and coat so carefully that not one of them has ever been used.
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Fiction Useless Inventions
The Coaster That Is Never Where the Mug Lands
A cork coaster on tiny wheels that rolls a few centimetres aside each time you lift your cup, so the mug always comes down on the bare table, just as it would have anyway.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Biscuit Tin That Makes You Sign In
A handsome enamel tin with a tiny clipboard on its side, whose lid stays shut until you have written down your name, the time and the purpose of your visit.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Queue Chooser That Always Finds the Slowest Checkout
A clever little gadget clips onto your shopping trolley and guides you, with total confidence, to the one queue in the shop that is about to stop moving.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Peelgrace: Lifting the Film Off Something New in One Perfect Sheet
(n.) The small, glowing joy of peeling the clear film off a brand-new screen in one unbroken sheet, without a single tear or bubble.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Jar Lid That Only Opens for the Second Person
A new jam jar lid stays firmly shut for whoever tries first and then twists off with a gentle turn the moment it is handed to someone else, exactly as everyone always suspected.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Tape Measure That Rounds Up Out of Kindness
A pocket tape measure that adds a little to everything it measures, so your sunflower, your child and your snowman always come out slightly taller than you hoped.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Photo Frame That Refuses to Pick a Favourite
A beautiful walnut frame that will not choose between the sixty-three nearly identical sunsets on your phone, so it shows you every single one of them, for ever.
Fact-based How It Started
The Shopping Trolley Began as Two Folding Chairs
The first one was a pair of wooden folding chairs on wheels with a basket on top, and shoppers refused to push it so firmly that the shop had to hire people to demonstrate.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Remote Control That Hides Itself
A television remote with rubber tracks and a clock inside, which drives itself into the gap between the sofa cushions every night at eleven, because that is where it feels safest.