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Everything filed under funny.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Nine fresh molehills appeared overnight on a prize-winning lawn, and the mole responsible has explained, from just below the surface, that the earth simply had to go somewhere.
Fiction Made-Up Words
(n.) The small show of glancing at your phone, frowning and nodding before you turn round on the pavement, so that nobody thinks you were simply walking the wrong way.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Woken by a blackbird at the end of April, a hazel dormouse has filed a formal request for three more weeks of sleep, on the grounds that he had only just got comfortable.
Fiction Made-Up Words
(n.) The grave, expert-looking knock given to a watermelon in a shop, followed by a slow wise nod, by somebody who has no idea what a good one is supposed to sound like.
Fiction Useless Inventions
A cork coaster on tiny wheels that rolls a few centimetres aside each time you lift your cup, so the mug always comes down on the bare table, just as it would have anyway.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Back over the rooftops after ten months away, a swift has declined the spot the sparrows saved for her on the gutter, explaining that she is still in the middle of something.
Fiction Made-Up Words
(n.) The painfully slow opening of a noisy sweet wrapper in a hushed room, done in the firm belief that slow means silent, which it never does.
Fiction Useless Inventions
A handsome enamel tin with a tiny clipboard on its side, whose lid stays shut until you have written down your name, the time and the purpose of your visit.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
A spade went into the vegetable bed at ten past nine, and four seconds later a robin was on the wheelbarrow, checking the work and removing anything that wriggled.
Fiction Made-Up Words
(n.) The single bare foot sent out from under the duvet on a warm night to patrol the cool air at the edge of the bed, while the rest of you stays safely tucked in.