Fiction Useless Inventions
The Spare Button Archive
A walnut cabinet of forty-eight tiny drawers that files every spare button from every new shirt and coat so carefully that not one of them has ever been used.
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whimsy
Everything filed under whimsy.
Articles
Fiction Tiny Stories
The Tunnel Where Everybody Shouts Hello
A short foot tunnel under the railway has such a fine echo that nobody of any age walks through without calling out, and then the council wrote to say it was going to be made quiet.
Fiction Tiny Stories
The Kite That Belongs to the Whole Hill
At the top of Kestrel Hill there is an unlocked wooden box with a red kite inside, and for nine years anyone who climbs up has been allowed to fly it.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Tabhoard: The Forty Browser Tabs You Are Definitely Going to Read
Tabhoard is the quiet row of open browser tabs you are keeping for later, each one a small promise that later will somehow arrive.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Stairhoard: The Pile That Lives at the Bottom of the Stairs
(n.) The small, patient heap at the foot of the staircase, made entirely of things that belong upstairs, which the whole household steps over for six days.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Remote Control That Hides Itself
A television remote with rubber tracks and a clock inside, which drives itself into the gap between the sofa cushions every night at eleven, because that is where it feels safest.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Plugspin
(n.) The ritual of trying a plug one way up, then the other, then the first way again, which somehow now works perfectly.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Pocketdrum
(n.) The brisk little drumroll you play on your own pockets in the doorway, checking for keys, phone and wallet in the same order every single time.
Fiction Tiny Stories
The Postbox That Gets a New Hat Each Season
Nobody has ever seen the knitter, but four times a year the postbox on the corner wakes up wearing something new.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Certificate Printer for Small Wins
A desk machine that prints a formal, gold-bordered certificate for achievements such as remembering to take the washing in before it rained.