Fiction Useless Inventions
The Seat-Saving Sofa Cushion
It learns the exact shape of the person who sits there most, and when anyone else settles into that spot, it inflates, very politely, until they move.
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manners
Everything filed under manners.
Articles
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Goodbye Extender
A telescopic hallway that grows a little longer every time someone says right, we really should be going, and then does not go.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Wavelorn
(adj.) Stranded in public after cheerfully returning a wave that was meant for the person behind you, with your hand still up and nowhere dignified to put it.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Car Horn That Says Sorry
A hobbyist decided the loudest button in the car should also be able to apologise, so he gave the horn a second, much smaller voice.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Namefog
(n.) The total blank that arrives at the exact moment you begin to introduce two people, one of whom you have known for eleven years.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Museum Rope for the Home
Two brass posts and a length of burgundy velvet rope, for cordoning off the one corner of your house that is currently tidy.
Fact-based Cosmic Questions
Why Do We Tidy Before the Cleaner Comes?
You are paying somebody to clean the house, and the night before, you clean the house.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Considerate Vacuum
A vacuum cleaner that stops the instant anybody in the room begins to speak, so that it never once interrupts, and therefore never once finishes.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Pressumption
(n.) The firm private belief that pressing the lift button a second time makes the lift arrive sooner.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Crumbdiplomacy
(n.) The long, wordless negotiation conducted over the last biscuit on the plate, in which everybody's goal is to eat it while appearing not to want it.