Fiction Made-Up Words
Pressumption
(n.) The firm private belief that pressing the lift button a second time makes the lift arrive sooner.
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Everything filed under funny.
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Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Bees Vote to Keep the Hive Exactly as Warm as It Was
After a full day of consultation involving every worker in the colony, the hive has resolved to maintain thirty-five degrees, as it has every year since the hive existed.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Aislefret
(n.) The anxiety of choosing a supermarket queue, immediately followed by the certainty that you have chosen wrong.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Hedgehog Completes Census of One Garden
Four nights of fieldwork, one garden, and a final count of every slug, step and gap under the fence, published in full to an audience of nobody.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Crumbdiplomacy
(n.) The long, wordless negotiation conducted over the last biscuit on the plate, in which everybody's goal is to eat it while appearing not to want it.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Loyal Trolley
A shopping trolley engineered, at considerable expense, to turn only left, on the grounds that a trolley which can go anywhere encourages a shopper who has thought about nothing.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Seagull Declares Chip Shop a Protected Site
The designation covers the pavement, the low wall, the bin, and a strip of air above the doorway that the gull describes as historically significant.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Lidfaith
(n.) The serene confidence with which you carry a full takeaway cup whose lid you have not actually checked.
Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Badger Denies Involvement in Missing Garden Gnome
The gnome went from the rockery on Tuesday night. The badger was in the garden on Tuesday night. The badger describes this as a coincidence of a very ordinary kind.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Portelude
(n.) The blank half-second at a door you have used a thousand times, in which you have no idea whether it pushes or pulls.